fuckin afghans.

this dream hasn't been clear in over a week.
"hey, you wanna go for a ride?"
"on your bike?"
"no, in your car. smartass."
"where to?"
"we'll see, I guess. wanna see if clara wants to come?"
"you sure?"
"yeah."
"okay."
I can hear the currents flowing. the rocks refusing to give way. I don't want to be made smooth, don't shear my rough edges.
she talks with such enthusiasm, how could she when I'm around? its surprising how anyone can sustain my eradic personality.
"you ready?"
"hold on."
I take the rest of my uniform off and reach for my shorts. she comes to me.
"you are a gift."
"what?"
"you are a gift."
"why do you say that?"
"I just feel like-I don't really appreciate you as much as I should. you do alot for me."
"I love you, greg."
I kiss her cold lips and slide my shorts on. her eyes drift else where, to a corner of the room.
"you okay?"
"yeah, I'm just thinking."
"should I call the MPs?"
"NO. shut up."
"come on. lets go-is clara coming or not?"
she sighs and looks down at my shoes, kicking them over to me
"yeah, she's gonna meet us out front."
the locker door seals. my woes are safe from sunshine.
we make our way down the all too familiar steps and walk the all too familiar path to the lot. clara is waiting in her car, with a baffled look on her face.
"where we goin?"
"good question, ask him."
"we're taking you're car then, I'm not using MY gas."
I can't stand that fucking girl-she gets on my nerves more than any other. although, she fills empty space quite well, with that mouth that never ceases.
"so olsen, where we goin?"
"you know, you can call me by my first name."
"I know. olsen."
"forget it. britt, just drive towards the wash rack-"
"why are we going there?"
"WE AREN'T. I just-just drive."
the red lights were bipolar fits of rage, involving a pattern of fluctuations between clara's annoying voice and lil wayne's. sometimes it seemed to fit.
we headed out the gate and the flowers ran at our sides.
I roll down the window and hang myself to dry. I can see her smiling, and I can smell them replying.
"so olsen, any idea where we're going yet?"
"yep."
"where, babe?"
"I'll tell you when to stop."
"oh my god. I HATE when you do this-please don't expect me to slam on my brakes like that trip to pet smart."
"don't worry, I'll give you fair warning."
the turns fill my head and the hills overwhelm my heart. I wish you could see this.
we pass a truck on the side of the road.
"STOP!"
"what?!"
"STOP STOP STOP!!"
she pulls over after we pass a small bridge-I can tell she's agitated. oops.
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT."
"I'm sorry?"
"IS IT THE RIVER? THAT WERE YOU WANTED TO GO?"
"mhm."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME?!"
"because! I wanted it to be a surprise! its more exciting."
I can hear clara laughing over brittany's persistent wailing. it makes me forget how frustrated she really is.

I get out of the car cautiously, watching for passing trucks. I make my way along the outside of the guard rail and down the grassy hills. I can hear it past the trees.
"where are you going?!"
"just come here!"
"wait!"
they carefully trot behind me, daintily and calculating each step-it makes me laugh.
"what?"
"nothing, you're just fucking cute."
"...I know."
she smiles and her eyes glow with the tree's new leaves.
the sun drips.
her gaze fills my mind as we head towards the roaring waters.
I wonder if she'd enjoy this? would she do this with me? would I be any happier? just stop thinking.
I come to a halt before I can even pass the trees. its a drop of about 15 feet; don't think we'll be going down this way...
"what's wrong?"
"um.. we can't get down this way."
"why not?"
"look for yourself."
I miss your fragrance, girl.
"holy shit, thats high."
"we can just walk down underneath the bridge."
"okay."
its steep concrete, and the tension is high. get out of my fucking head.
"GREG. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
"I don't wanna get your car wet."
I sit with my feet in the water, as I pull my clothes off.
"PUT THEM BACK ON."
"no."
"yes."
"make me."
clara watches as brittany follows me into the creek. I walk backwards and taunt her with my shorts above my head.
"GREG. PUT THEM BACK ON."
"no."
she falls over constantly from the awkward surface and the rush of cold water. I run up on shore and throw my clothes on a log.
"greeeeeeeeeeeeg! please put them back on."
I carefully make my way in and get clara from the other side,; she gets on my shouders and laughs.
"thanks, I really didn't know I'd need a bathing suit."
"you don't!"
"nah, I'm good. people can see you, yah know."
"I don't care."
as I'm watching my footing I look up. fuck.
"you don't wanna wear clothes like normal people, asshole? well then."
FUCK. DON'T.
"FETCH."
she winds back and I can't help but react. I release clara from my grips and drop her in. she screams. I trudge through the waters and start swimming after my fleeing garments. thankfully, they were caught by a branch.
"YOU ASSHOLE. OH MY GOD. I can't believe you threw me!"
"I didn't throw you, clara."
"oh my god-yes, you did."
brittany laughs and I smile. we have good times, but for some reason, when I look up from my own two feet, all I can do is wish you're here. why is that? maybe roseanne barr will appear in a vision.
apparently she holds many answers.