:'[

so. I've had a recent issue pop up(sort...of). I have ended up in an all too familiar position.

love love, hate, miss, replace, love love, hate, miss.

what the fuhhh. WHY DO I ALWAYS DO STUPID IMMATURE THINGS THAT END UP FUCKING UP EVERYTHING I WANT....!?FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
its funny. I'm immature, it annoys her, which makes me upset, silent fight ensues, insecurity of feeling unwanted rears its ugly head, hatred brews, inscurity rises in her as a consequence, then she doesnt want to talk to me. yet. why? I don't know. I dont understand people. you either want to talk to someone or you don't. you either love someone or you don't. people have to make things seem so complicated and dramatic and its SO fucking overdone and painful. people always talk about being an adult and such... but I've never seen people act-whatever thats supposed to be, regardless of age.

I just wanna go home. fish. visit some places. get drunk and have sex with people that will end up hating me too and turn all my friends against me and make me hate florida. again and again and again and again and again. hopefully not that last part...its getting old. some day soon this tired cycle of shit will end. I'ma take my bike and money and go find something besides empty hands.


I guess some people are just doomed to fail at everything structured. romantic relationships, school, jobs, friends, family, blah, blah, blah. atleast I'm good at wandering and just doing whatever.
whatever whatever might be.