Purrrretty amuuuusinggg.

A modest proposal

Editor, The Beacon:

I've got it. I think I have it: "Seven Steps for the USA." After reading the bad-news happenings, I put on the thinking cap.

So, here goes:

1. Guns. In the old West, an honor system implied that you don't shoot a unarmed person. We need to get rid of all weapons, including those used by the military, police, security officers, and, of course, cap guns.

This will allow our foes to see that the people are caring, lovable and harmless. In the military, we could send females to the front lines, after retraining them to be caring in a "village" sort of way.

Law enforcement, like the bobbies of England, get whistles.

How, you ask, would we control the nonconformist? Easy! Have a MD or psychologist ride along and dispense the pills or drugs the bad guy wants. If it's money, then use a reserve stockbroker to give out chits to help the lost soul.

2. Traffic citations. Use drones to follow cars and send out citations by mail. We could put chips in vehicles and call them "smart cars."

3. Immigration and obesity. Use code enforcement and checkpoints on the streets. Scales and micrometers with DNA testers should cover it. Revenue from the citations would be tenfold.

4. Work. Have CEOs change their title to "citizen" or "company" enforcement officers with the purpose of taking away employees' individuality or choices.

5. Media. Put it all under one umbrella to offer hours of reality-show coverage, similar to today's programing with no substance, all fluff.

6. Tweak the Constitution to eliminate pursuit of happiness, freedoms of choice. etc.

7. Voting. For our next generation, which I call "niners" (generation 999), mandatory liberal thinking using genetic DNA modification, like Monsanto uses.

In conclusion, these are the suggestions I've come up with. I hope you can expand or eliminate any wrong suggestions, because I only had four hours sleep and multitasking from my employer.

Ray Camper
DeLand