On the Road.

Tiny drumbeats on an olive canvas floating down a river of coffees, from sea to swamp. I miss my hair and the way it kept the rain from my eyes, dripping upon my lips with the taste of clouds and leather instead. Who knows why. Now it storms down upon me, pattering across scalp and cheeks. The birds chatter as they shower from branches overhanging tannin stained roadways with depths unmatched by man-made lanes. Fuck the signs and dashed lines that followed suit I want lawlessness. I want freedom and truth. Am I strong or has domestication given me the illusion of strength? The trailing edge of the paddle slips from the calm waters into a battlefield of dumb bombs and bullets that shatter fragile skies , even if for a brief moment. The river drips from the plastic propeller, craving to leave such a ferocious environment back to its muffled mansion for dead leaves and relics of ages past. It’s had its fill of war. They all have. I crave the conflict and keep moving as if in a trance. I match the pace of nature’s snare. Heaven is hidden-we beasts are too shameless to watch as we carelessly kill, fuck, and drive ourselves to madness. Doesn’t bother me one fucking bit. Shadow puppets held by swaying arms cast their story upon the impact area below, distorted and fleeting images followed by the voice of god-what a fitting narrator-scenes of mass murder, angry and merciless soldiers raining down on the willing and unwilling. The fearful and the nihilists. I can’t relate. I move on in to a void on planet earth. The trees entrenched and intertwined above and below. I am in the womb. The waters narrow and all light escapes me, the sounds of the outside world fall on deaf ears and as I start to feel soft sand gracing the underbelly of my vessel I decide to walk onward, leaving all else behind. The ground sinks and hugs the soles of promiscuous feet. Palm fronds run their fingers cross my arms and chest. They whisper, “Don’t go”, but I must! It is my one and only wish to be reborn in the fertile waters of this all-knowing, forever flowing cunt. I stop as I feel a solution of sand and piercing cold water tickle the arch of my right foot. The end must be approaching. Who knew? My next few steps land me smack dab middle of a massive crater for quicksand and spring currents. Not Nobodies. In the darkness I felt for a bottom while fear and fine soot engulfed my body. The ground is going to eat me. The solution rushed from a bunker of limestone grabbing ahold of my shoulders and ankles. I sank to its soul and closed my eyes. If I were a fish I was eaten, if I were an alligator I was eaten, if I were human I’d have laughed until my lungs filled with water and sand. Thank God I’m Nothing and Nowhere, none of that shit really applies. Phew.

chrono-synclastic infundibulum

Woke up with a foot on my chest.
Wheres my clothes?

wheres my clothes?
who are you?
an amused admirer.

Her eyes pierced and pryed as she held me down, the dirt grinding into my chest, releasing its earthy aroma. the wormhole of fast paced greens didn't seem to distract her at all.

where...are we?
home. don't you recognize it? don't you recognize me?

Toes were dug into my ribs, as if I were an ash tray to put out her fire. I grabbed the skinny soot stained ankle and sent it up, up, up-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHOOWOOP! -WHY'D JOODO THAT?!

I sit up and realize what planet I'm on. The trees burn and ripple in the wind, showing off their best dance for a rarely present audience.

do you really have to ask such a stupid question?
YOU'RE AN ASS!
you're an idiot, but I'm still likin' the fact we're naked.
SHUT UP!
what time is it?
I'm not talking to you anymore.
okay. who'r you going to talk to then?
maybe I'll find some squirrels or oppossums that'll show me a bit of respect?
...you've got leaves in your hair.
so? maybe I like them there? they smell nice.
you're weird. really weird.

Her cheeks were riping tomatoes, showered with a coat of dirt that covered pale breasts and a growling stomach.

I'm sorry, I was just kidding. you hungry?
...yeah.
well, why don't we see if we can't find something to eat?
I already ate all the blue berries... and the grapes.
wait. we have food?
...did-I was hungryyy!
its okay. you're the one that's starving.

I surveyed the halls and walkways, a natural orchard of social giants that we seemed to be dropped in the middle of.

all I see is rows and rows of trees in every direction...
its funny.
what is?
this. the fact that you ignore me, and your home.
what the hell do you keep talking about? I thought we were looking for food?
you just don't get it. we've been here before, you and I and everyone, everything that exists and will.
what do you mean, everything that exists and will?
what do you want right now?
honestly?
obviously.
well, you-I feel oddly comfortable and completely aware of how rediculous that is-this can't be real-
where'd you just get that?

There in her hand, grasped firmly as she studied its texture, was an apple. Crimson to vanilla as she bit into it.

isss kwite gud, yuh knoww.
where'd that come from?
uhhh-uh. I just know its tastyyyy. wanna bite?
this isn't real. it can't be.
how do you define real, boy? from senses? if every experience of a touch is a memory, how do you know that it isn't a figment of your mind?
because I am touching something now. that is present time-it isn't a memory.
now it is.
that doesn't make any sense!
neither do you.

I close my eyes and plop on the ground. The ants scurry along my base and along my toes. I forget my surroundings and concentrate on the anxiety of the moment-are the damned things gonna bite me or what?

...are you okay?
leave me alone.
now look who's the pouty one...

The smell of oak and cinammon invades as her hair brushes up against my forehead.

I don't even like tomatoes.
HUH?
and cinammon is completely overrated.
what-
if you're some kind of, like, part of my subconscious then why are you, you? why aren't your boobs bigger? why-
SHUT UP! I. AM NOT. A DREAM. I am real, thank youuuuu, and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with my cup size.
I didn't say there was, I was just pointing out that-
you are the dream, boy.
whuh?
you are a part of my mind's creation. you know as much as I do and your history, likes, dislikes, personality, all of it that you are aware of is only as much as I've begun to spin. you are my clothes to wear. to keep me safe and keep me warm. you are all I want and need. do you understand? you won't accept it because I won't let you. so, its okay.
you really are crazy.
you lost your virginity at sixteen.
nope.
yup.
lucky guess.
women hate you.
well that much can be assumed by our interaction so far...
your father died at somepoint, I haven't decided when yet, so ofcourse you don't even remember when...
how-
hmmm... what else... oh you're obsessed with gerbils, chinchillas, and the like.
how did you know about my dad?
you really are thick. I told you. you are what I want you to be. an ass, an underdog, a rebel, a liar, a slacker, a coward. you're human, the way I see it. just the way I like it.
if I'm not real, how can I be human?
come on now, human is a term that transcends species. its on par with the likes of a god. you don't have to be tangible to be human. infact, I think the best ones are those of dream and fiction. and all your percieved feelings and senses are past interaction based upon my experiences. now do you see?
your back doesn't hurt?
nope.
you've been like that for a while.
NOPE. nope.  nope. shut up.

Her nose was pressed against mine, radio transmissions were passed from pupil to pupil. From smile to whisp to breast to kiss, my peripheral had become a blur. A drugged-like state of heavenly smells and tastes brought on by a peace embedded into my essence. She finally sat down infront of me and took my hands.

everything's gonna be okay now, you'll guard our coconuts till the end of time.
cos I'm your spacewhore?
cos I'm your spacewhore.

transatlanticism

"I was not proud, for I had calmed a deep woman by making her shallow. I had blocked the underground rivers that connected her to the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian Oceans, and made her content with being a splash pool three feet across, four inches deep, chlorinated, and painted blue."