Wednesday, August 26, 2015

flirting with safety.

There have been nights when I ponder how these individuals would've lived
had their moment in time not been cut so short. With the deaths of several firefighters
this year, I keep in mind that camaraderie can be your worst enemy-it may be a horrible
thing to live with the decision to not follow your team into danger and death, but
is it worse than dying? Are the feelings of guilt, resentment, and shame stronger factors
than your own family's suffering? I just don't know what I would've done.
would I have left safety and followed-or stayed?

Thursday, August 20, 2015

a familiar fear.

I don't see your eyes often
they're big, dark, intimidating pools filled with the might and sadness of a weathered woman
with a brow lowered to see past the glare of spoken words and promiscuous lips. 

so I greet your back
shoulders strong and articulated, resembling the rolling hills of our basin
ink brands and great bands of flexing muscles with drainages cut by small streams of sweat
shadows cast and move along the divides as our bodies meet and pull apart in the flickering light.

sometimes I whisper endearments to your bruised neck
with the reward of warm thighs wrapped round ears and a taste that welcomes a talented tongue

a love is sung by two wandering souls
a duet of moans and awkward statements
with laments of passed parents and those who would abuse these tones

I don't want to let go.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness every day
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

P.S. love makes me a better person. nothing else does. I've been a really shitty human being for a while, but there were brief moments where I truly thought I could be something else.

apathy and paperwork

The military just won't leave me alone. when I was released from that hell hole in Texas, it was one of the happiest days of my life. Now after two years, it's unrelenting claws have dug back in, trying to drag me back down. The army has claimed my empathy, creativity, passion, my sensitivity-I feel so grey inside. All I had was my freedom and I feel it slipping away again.

just leave me alone, please.
please let me be.

Texas, Washington, Montana, Alaska, these are my homes away from home. I wish to go back, but feel unsure of it being a reality now. I'm getting closer and closer to being trapped.