Sunday, November 30, 2008

I'm in love and won't give you the chance to doubt me. you're leaving before I can, anyways; it'd be pointless to tell you now.

If there's one thing I've learned throughout my life, over and over, its that people never change. we live in a melting pot of seemingly chaotic relationships and random happenings, but its all illusion.

everything is based upon order; structure. people are molded, and their actions are a reflection of that. just because characteristics seem to change in nature, doesn't mean they have. no matter what, we will strive for the same commodities we have always endlessly searched for: the means and/or desire for survival.

well. I want to kiss, fuck, and take you where no one has ever dared; I dream of spilling my thoughts onto your lips, and quenching every thirst you will ever long for. you are my ticket to heaven.
though its too bad I'll never be capable of feeling your fingers upon my face again. you can't change; I won't change.

this whole fucking thing is a charade.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

today was weird-but predictable. I woke up this morning to the same familiar sound of my monotonous routine, blinding, and seemingly fruitless. I squabbled back to the couch after giving my alarm clock a good thrashing; I just didn't feel like going to school today, on account of not having my psychology quiz done. alas, my nap lasted less than 5 minutes for my mind was too busy racing between thoughts to rest its weary neurons. I scooted myself to the bathroom to take a quick shower, it helped wake me up a tad bit, I suppose. after looking for some clothes on my floor I decided what to slip on and went out to stuff my precious in the trunk of ze car. I hate cars. they're so fucking useless. anyways, as my mom pulled up towards the bike rack I jumped out hurredly, and unloaded my junk out to assemble. locked up. packed up. moving on. I feel so out of place at college-since I'm the kid that never does anything-its high school all over again.
I know what I want in life, and its not this. I wan't to travel.  help people.  you know, do something productive with the time I have, instead of worrying about how much money there is to make or number of friends for the taking.  I feel so pampered  here. fucking tired of it.heres a great blog that really influenced me: