so I've finally brought myself to believe, or rather... have a lack of belief in love, purpose, free-will, god, honesty, monogomy, social science, and people. I've become almost like a fucking loon/misanthrope/nihilist. don't care about living. don't care about the economy. don't care about society. don't care about myself. dont care about relationships. don't care about choices. can't really think about anything that really matters to me-to believe in. hope i find something. maybe I should stop being so fucking skeptical, but that would entail being a naive,narcissus-esque, ignorant buffoon... like everyone in my life. fuck. that. I'd rather die a miserable, alone, old man.
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